always something...

Being a single Mom has its challenges!  I dread the morning fighting to get the kids up, dressed, breakfast and out the door all before they are late for school.  I dread the evening fighting of getting them ready for bed, teeth brushed and in bed at a reasonable hour.  Being a single parent I am the one in charge of the day and night routine.  It can be exhausting.  It is not only me moving them along but then they like to bug each other to the point someone gets hurt or cries.  At times I feel like all I do is yell at them to do what they are expected to do and to knock off being mean to each other. 

I remember when I dreamed of having a family I thought of these wonderful bonding times of playing together in the snow, baking cookies and there was so much love and kindness in the air.  We were the idea family.  Everyone wanted to hang out at our house.  I was calm, cool and collected all the time.  We hosted parties and the children all got along so great it was like heaven.  Well reality hit and where is all the bliss.  What happened to the kids that could help mom and play without arguing over everything.  From who gets to sit next to Mom on the couch to who gets to take a bath first.  It feels like I am a referre and I have games all day every day.  And to top it off my 6 year response to getting in trouble is "You hate me!".  A statement that I am so done hearing.

Report cards came out today and I was so worried about how many tardies the kids had because we are always running late.  I was more worried about how many tardies, because that reflects on me, than I was on what kind of grades they got this quarter.  It is because I want to be preceived as the perfect single Mom.  I can do it all.  Which I can but it just happens to be all half assedly done.  But it is done!  Although if I really think about it poor grades really does reflect on me as well.  Hmmm well crap! 

Really do these teachers understand how challenging it is for parents who work full time to get home make dinner, do homework and baths and get to bed on time so they are not late to school the next day?  It is a seriously tough job to do all that.  It takes a lot of yelling...at least at our house!  I tell the kids that I should only have to tell them to do something one time but it always ends up being 5 or 6 times and by then I am screaming at them to get it done.  I wonder all the time if the neighbors can hear me!  My new years resolution was to not yell so much but that has gone out the window.  Tomorrow I start it again.  I will not yell I will not yell I will not yell!!  Here is to a new morning full of love and kindness in the air:)